I repent by Marty Braemer

The following post is from Marty Braemer.

from http://www.fundamentalforums.com/the-fighting-forum/70603-i-repent.html :

Psa 32:5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.

If you are you hoping for salacious details you will be sorely disappointed with this statement. I resigned the pastorate of the Fords Bush Bible Church on Sunday, July 26th following an admission to my wife on the previous Wednesday that I had violated our marriage vows and breached her trust. I sinned. I had a 9 month affair. No excuses. No details.

I have spent the better part of a week going to individuals privately to repent. This morning the repentance was done before the corporate body. I am so sorry and sickened in my heart to have failed my God, my wife, my children, my family, and the church families I pastored.

I am posting this here for three reasons:

1. To make known what I have done and to seek the forgiveness of those whom my careless words and judgmental attitudes only served to reveal my own hypocrisy. Chad, Bob, and James … I am sorry and I ask your forgiveness.

2. To stem the tide of some of the misinformation being reported as fact.

3. To magnify my God for His bounty of goodness despite my failings.

I have been blessed with a wife I do not deserve and four wonderful children. We have submitted ourselves to a council of pastors as we begin the healing and restoration process. We are in the process of relocating. I would appreciate your prayers for my children. The only place they have ever known is Fords Bush. They are leaving grandparents, friends, and the only life they have ever known.

My amazing wife has spent many hours this week reaching out and ministering to the other woman. It was part of her process in dealing with all of this. Some of you who feel the need to blog things might do well to remember that there are many lives, young and old, involved in this. Both families have extended family and immediate family within the church. I know, some of you want your pound of flesh because I have offended you. So be it. But take it, for whatever it is worth, from someone who knows firsthand what it is to jump on someone over a fall or a failure … we reap what we sow.

Mr. McBryde did not break a news story. I had already resigned and was in the repentance process before his blog published any of this. The church and the board already knew. There was no need to publish anyone’s name. Hugh has been waiting for his chance to pounce since he was removed from this forum. His pro views on polygamy and adult men engaging in intimate activity with under age girls is well known and documented. His motive is one of vengeance and not Christ centered discipline with the hope of restoration. God will deal with that in His own way just as He deals with all of us.

The main source of information to Hugh comes from the letter of a former member. His letter contains erroneous misinformation and outright lies. He lied about my wife in the letter as well as Brother Keever’s wife. He never once followed Matthew 18 in any of this. He has never confronted me. But he did hand deliver his epistle to my mother-in-law.

His account, as written on Hugh’s blog, of what transpired in my office is inaccurate at best. In the first place, he was not there, so what he wrote is hearsay. By the way, he was not a witness to anything he wrote. In the second place, the chairman of the board of deacons WAS there and gives a completely different account of what happened. As far as making a slip and using her name in the office … I had two secretaries whom I always referred to by name as well as all of the female staff members. Again, his motives are clearly seen as nothing more than spite and sour grapes.

Enough of that.

God has ministered to us in so many wonderful ways I do not know where to begin. My wife and I will be spending a week together. Brother Keever and the Fords Bush Faith Family have reached out and ministered to my kids and to us. We have been talking and praying together like never before.

My wife is supremely confident in this major move in our lives. For the first time I am out of my comfort zone and apprehensive and scared. Several years ago I sensed God wanting us to move but the fundamentalist position is not to move unless you have somewhere to go, so I stayed. I now believe that staying was disobedient. Abraham moved when he didn’t even know where he was going. God blessed him for that. My lack of trust in Him and reliance on me and my flesh has led me to a place where now I have no choice but to trust Him.

Thank you for the many PMs of prayers and support. I appreciated the phone calls from Stephen and Patebald. Marji and Riverwalker … you two have no idea how much you have ministered to me. Pate … my wife loooooved the video clip you sent. Joan of Arc, Jaded, and others … thank you, thank you, thank you.

I will close with a conversation I had with Pate via PM. When Christ gathered with His disciples for the last supper … He looked at Peter and said they would all meet in Galilee in so many days. He said this knowing that Peter would lie, deny, and curse he ever knew Him. Despite Peter’s coming failure … Christ said, “after We get through this We’ll meet for breakfast in Galilee.” Invited to come and dine.

That account has brought incredible comfort to me. Despite my failures and my sins … my Lord still desires to fellowship with me. I do not know what the future holds. I only know that I need to draw close to Him if I am ever going to be the husband and father I need to be.


PS
This message approved by Mrs Braemer